A pro wrestler who covers his girlfriend’s babysitting shift isn’t likely to be body-slamming his way to the title belt anytime soon. Then again, watching a child is far less demanding than duking it out on the mat. Surely the most seasoned of prize fighters would agree. Whether they could endure a night from hell, however, is another thing entirely. I have a feeling most of them would be running home and crying to momma if they were to encounter knife-wielding killers with a mile-high bloodlust. Tom isn’t that kind of guy, though; if anything, his time in the ring has prepared him for the chaos that takes place. Who would’ve thought? Well, I don’t know much about wrestling, but what I do know is that once Here for Blood gets going, it never stops.

The plot is pretty straightforward, but it doesn’t bite off more than it can chew either. I’m all for that. In fact, there’s no doubt in my mind that the film works because of its simplicity. Not only does it have heart for days on end, but you can tell there’s a love for the genre, what with gore galore, goopy practical effects, a sense of humor, and plenty of psychotronic panache to go around. It’s all here. It’s all on display, so feast your eyes and enjoy. You won’t be disappointed unless, of course, a psychopathic killer stabs you in the foot. We wouldn’t want that now, would we?

The blending of elements is another thing that works in the film’s favor. You have slasher elements, a home invasion scenario, and a cult that is attempting to attain immortality by sacrificing a child. It’s an interesting but unusual state of affairs in its own right; it’s very off-the-wall, much like the killers are. They all have their own personalities. What’s more, they’re all distinct in terms of appearance. They may not be the sharpest tools in the shed, though their proneness to buffoonery is sure to give you some laughs. I, for one, can’t complain about that.

I had a good time with Here for Blood, and I found that it lived up to its name more than I thought it would. It’s not deep or thought-provoking in any way, but it has charm. Plus, where else are you gonna see a skull with an insatiable appetite for flesh?